TL;DR You look at what you’re actually selling. In college I tried to be a speaker and failed for years. No bookings, no agency, no idea. The fix wasn’t hustling harder. It was learning that the job was never about me. I was leading with my story instead of what the room needed.
In college I decided I was going to be a speaker. I had a story I believed people needed to hear—two brain tumors, a stroke, a room I could hold—and I was sure that was enough. It was not enough. The phone did not ring. No bookings, no agency, no idea what I was doing, and everyone around me seemed to be figuring it out while I wasn’t.
That went on for years. I watched other people build careers and I could not understand why mine wasn’t moving. I was working. I just wasn’t getting anywhere.
Here is what I finally worked out, and it took me embarrassingly long. When I started, I thought speaking was all about me and my story. It wasn’t. My job had nothing to do with me at all. It was about the audience, and what they walked out with, and whether any of it helped them with the thing they were carrying.
I’ve spent the years since as a corporate keynote speaker, and now a host says, “Please welcome Kelsey Tainsh,” and the talk I give is built around the room instead of around me. This is the note I’d give my younger self. You are not failing because your story isn’t good. You are failing because you think the story is the point. It isn’t. The person listening is the point.
“When I first started, I believed that speaking was all about me and my personal story. But over time, I learned that my job as a speaker had nothing to do with me at all.”
— I’m Not Limping. That’s Swagger!, Chapter 4
The moment I stopped selling me and started serving them, it worked. Same story. Different job.
When your work isn’t landing and you can’t see why
- Stop asking if your story is good. Ask who it serves.
- Watch the winners for what they give, not what they have.
- Rebuild the pitch around the listener, not around you.
I wrote a whole chapter about the four years I spent failing at this before it clicked. If your team is grinding and not moving, sometimes the problem isn’t effort, it’s aim. That’s the conversation I love having as a corporate keynote speaker. The rest of the story is in the book if you would like to read it.
Book: https://kelseytainsh.com/kelseys-book/ · Speaking: https://kelseytainsh.com/corporate-keynotes/
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